For many of us, this season can be tough.
There might be a gap between what we want and what we have right now.
This gap might look like:
Facing the loss of a loved one
Being alone for the first time after a break-up
Being single yet again
Being the single mom you never imagined being
Dealing with yet another year of infertility
Being away from home
Having to go home
Having to face a difficult family situation
Dealing with illness - yours or others' around you
Facing your food or body issues full-on
Not being where you want to be in life, whatever this might look like
Facing painful memories
Feeling exhausted yet needing to be there for others
And all around, especially on social media, people are posting their perfect family photos with matching Santa hats.
And can make us want to crawl into a cave and just avoid this entire season all together.
And the difficult reality is that this pain or longing will be there regardless of what we do or avoid doing.
Because longing or pain give us information about what we care about. About what matters to us.
And often, despite the incessant going around in circles our minds do - there is no 'magical solution' to human suffering.
So instead of trying to get rid of this pain or beating ourselves up over how we are feeling, what if we allowed ourselves to simply be where we are at right now?
This doesn’t mean wallowing in feeling bad. It doesn’t mean self-pity.
It means validating that whatever we are experiencing is OK.
It means telling ourselves what we would tell a friend in the same situation:
This is the first season you are facing xx. It is understandable that it is so hard.
It’s OK to feel whatever you are feeling.
I know this is tough.
Right now, you wish xx were different. I get that.
It’s hard having this gap between what you want and where you are at right now.
I know this sounds simple, yet being able to offer this validation of how hard things are to ourselves is so much kinder than how we tend to deal with things - often by beating ourselves up or trying to numb or escape from the pain.
And then, perhaps we can connect with a sense of common humanity: That this season is difficult for other people too. That while social media shows us the images people want us to see, behind closed doors, behind the smiles, behind the Santa hats, there is also suffering, and pain and longing and regrets and all the stuff that makes us all human.
We are not alone. This season is tough for many of us, for many different reasons - and all reasons are valid.
And there is room for all of it - not just the joy and celebration and obligations - but also the more painful stuff. It is ALL a part of the season. It is all a part of being human.
If you would like some support during this period, even as a one time thing - you can book a session in Lausanne, Geneva or by Skype here.
I also wanted to share my Christmas eBook that I started 3 years ago with my recipes for gluten, dairy and refined sugar-free versions of our favorite Christmas treats.
There is also an entire section on spices and making your own spice blends, which is one of my favorite things to do this season.
Click on the image below to download your free copy!